Free Paint Job

When Ford first offered the Model T for sale in 1908 for $905, they touted that, "You can have any color you want...as long as it's black". In the parking lot at my place of employment they offer a similar service with respect to the paint job, and it's *free. As long as you want white, speckled with a bit 'o grey. I myself, have had said service performed on my car on more than two occasions and the "partial treatment" numerable times. They are professional, thorough, and work around the clock. You just have to be parked in the right spot.

Ok, jokes over. These rats with wings flock around and literally all take a shit simultaneously mid flight. This goes on all over the parking lot, it's not always under the trees we're assaulted; although, that is the most consistently attacked area. I've heard of sycronized swimming, but this is ridiculous.
* not actually free, $18.00 car wash required shortly after service.